Why narcissists get away with everything (subtítulos en español)

Why narcissists get away with everything (subtítulos en español)

local_offerevent_note February 26, 2020

account_box Arnold Mann

100 thoughts on “Why narcissists get away with everything (subtítulos en español)”

  • Because they are babyish. Even in the institutionalized system, little kids in school and inmates in jail are punished for defending themselves. A bully appears and starts menacing all day long, but anyone who stands up to the bully and fights back gets in trouble. The more babyish and ornery a person acts the more they get away with messed up stuff.

    Heck, I’ve even seen judges in courtrooms go easy on infantile behaving people. Anybody acting civil gets the book thrown at them, no mercy shown at all. And then somebody acting bugged out like a big brat, gets off easy or altogether. Even in jail, to get parole, if you act civil you’ll be turned down, you act crazy and will get granted. In the police precinct, the innocent gets interrogated viciously and the guilty gets smiles and laughs. Bcuz they’re charmed by babyishness.

    Look all around you. The most messed up acting people are always the ones who have somebody in their life. You see some really messed up acting male or female, and they have somebody striving to be with them. Whereas somebody nice, scrupulous, and civil is single and nobody want them for anything serious. Everybody prefer the bad boy and bad girl, which means narcissist. So there you have it folks. Narcissism is where it’s at until people get their own dose of it.

  • Wow. That was good. Added some good information for me. I remember thinking about my last boyfriend…gosh, he's such a sore loser, but he's also a bad winner (a bragger)

  • @DrRamani that story sounded an awful lot like President Donald Trump. He even said he could kill someone in the middle of the street and get away with it. Is he a narcissist or does he have Antisocial Personality Disorder DSM-5 301.7?

  • They don't. It is just what some believe. When I was a child I lived with my relatives. The man was a very experienced and highly intelligent person. He was involved in military intelligence during WW2 fighting the evil from Germany and Soviet. The word narcissist didn't exist but the behavior was well known. He claimed that evil persons sooner or later destroy themselves. It is not only states like the nazis and the Soviets. It is all of the evil on a social view. He was positively convinced the Soviet Union would collapse, witch happened 40 years later.

    The same goes for evil persons around us. No the narcissists do NOT get away. It just takes more time. But if you know how, you can help them destroy themselves, and then it is quicker.

  • that's exactly it. That's why I used to get so mad, I used to call them out and get into fights and then they would play they others who had no idea who they were dealing with. It's incredible seeing your sibling doing that and seemingly intelligent people always falling for it. You know, when I am around them now they get really pissed because with EFT techniques they no longer trigger me into nonsense……..it's quite amazing to observe actually. Very interesting, than you.

  • Narcissists can't get away with shit unless they are backed by other people, so don't talk like they are so smart, they are not smart at all .

  • Omg… It is so satisfying to hear you put this enraging Narcissist tactic so accurately into words. That alone is so healing.
    The narc in my life constantly gets people to roll out the red carpet for him and his kids and shamelessly tramples everyone around him in the process

  • My narcissistic mother once called a department store and tried to get two baby chairs for the price of one. They were not running a sale at all. It was Christmas time. She even talked to the manager.
    What a "Karen"
    They didn't give it to her.

  • My narc sister got pregnant and didnt want to be. After announcing her pregnancy she got an abortion a week later and told everybody that i was dying and needed a bone marrow transplant and she was my only match. People believed her.

  • This doesn't answer why a narc are so effective and capable of manipulating peoples emotions in the way that it is most damaging.

  • I use to be in direct sales and there are sooooooooo many narcissistic people men and women who worked there now I know why I’m so glad I don’t work at the job anymore no amount of money is worth my peace of mind

  • I have a frend who is later on figured a Narcissist. We had an issue about going to a recliner seat or not and he definitely wore me down with all the bargaining which mostly he wants the WIN for… Made up some excuse on why he doesn't want to go to a recliner seat becz of he is saving something for which I think partly true but becz me and him wanted to go to a recliner seat and now he wants to go to a regular seat at the movies it made me think that he really doesn't care as long as we go to the regular seat that he wanted. So I figured out why do I have to put up with this? I cancelled the movie and just made up some excuse for doing so also in seeing him later than sooner. I really got frustrated on how narcissist really can get away with things or situations and focus on their win and wearing ppl down just to get what they wanted. I couldn't care less on what he thinks now as he has a bday coming up. The once there's no issue or schedule becomes he isn't free I think becz I've done him narcissistic injury and he did what he thinks fits him for a win and thought I'm gonna fall for it… That is I cannot see him on his bday. Bfre I cared on going on the actual day but now pffft! Not anymore.

  • He also added that he might fall asleep if we are on recliner seats which is a bit off for me so what I did I really cancelled the movie watching then just made up an excuse…. He doesn't even want to go to a movie that he doesn't want to go but for me I need to go to a movie where he wants to go in. What the h! So to stop it I find a really good compromise on a movie we can both enjoy.

  • He's my close frend of almost 6 yrs but just now I found out he really is a narcissist. Based on Dr. RAMANI YouTube videos on narcissism

  • I mean I can stand on the b. s but I don't like when he comes to me when he needs me and then if not any more just throws me away like a yoyo. Bfre he is sweet and kind but watching the videos I really can see how distorted his reality is and much more on a personal degree level and the gaslighting too…. Theres lots.

  • He is still my considered frend but now I tend to withdraw my energy from him so I don't get wore down or be angry and think if I matter in his life or not. If love to him is superficial even as a frend then I guess the less I see of him the better. I hate being lied on in my face and all he thinks is personal gain protecting his fragile ego

  • I'll tell you how my ex husband did it: He used bullying and intimidation to get himself into and out of situations. And, he saw life's experiences as opportunities to hone his skills of always maneuvering to get more than he gave—taught to him expertly by his mother.

  • He always seems to come out on top. Because he manipulates so damn well with his charm. He even has done illegal things gets charged and seems to somehow get out of it. Once he was sentenced to 6 months but got out in two! Another time he was actually incarcerated put on probation violated it and his probation officer did nothing about it because they had a similar love for star wars lol. Its crazy how he gets help from so many people when he's in trouble no matter what he needs at the time.

  • My father was a pastor and later on a professor. He got away with everything a lot when I was growing up. I can sympathize with those ladies at the store. I was usually the one who had to deal with that at home.

  • They are beyond messed up, they are actually evi lppl. They survive off nothing more than supply which is basically obtaining a shallow contentment out of the misery of others. The burden of being without a heart or soul is to much for them to bare so they spread their wretchedness onto others, they project all their sadness, insecurities and hang ups onto those around them, they gaslight everyone so that they are never exposed and they lie that much that they don't even know what the truth is.
    You are better off without them, without the drama and attention, the soaring highs and crushing lows, the constant put downs and abuse. Never forget that 'You are more precious than jewels' (proverbs 31:10). Narcissists get exactly what they deserve – which is a life never knowing real love and empathy.

  • There was a woman named Coulter where she had a fit about not getting her aisle seat on her flight. She was banned forever from the airline. It made the news. Hooray.

  • My pet peeve as a customer service person was the cheapos who wanted me to wave the fee for entrance into an airline private club. I would look them in the eye and say Noooooo. The price is 600 for a year. Then I looked past them and took the person who was a member.

  • "The method of ceremonial bewitchments varies with times
    and persons; all subtle and domineering people find its
    secrets and its practice within themselves, without even actually calculating about them or reasoning on their Sequence. Herein they follow instinctive inspirations of the great agent, which, as we have already said,
    accommodates itself marvellously to our vices and our virtues; It may, however, be generally laid down that we are subjected to the wills of others by the analogies of our tendencies ,
    and above all, of our faults. To pamper the weaknesses of an individuality is to possess ourselves of that individuality
    and convert it into an instrument in the order of the same errors or depravities. Now, when two natures whose defects
    are analogous become subordinated one to another, the result is a sort of substitution of the stronger for the weaker, an actual obsession of one mind by the other. Very often the
    weaker may struggle and seek to revolt, but it only falls
    deeper in servitude." Eliphas Levi: Transcendental Magic

  • Thank you Dr. Ramani
    All that you spoke of, makes sense here.
    But, when I get back into my reality, I am made to feel like the narcissist, the enabler, the over-thinker, the manipulator, and all stresses me out and I give up standing for myself 😞

  • Lightbulb went off when you said reward. Mine wouldn’t cut into his steak to see if it was cooked properly at restaurants because no one tells him what to do! Now if it wasn’t cooked correctly he would then call the server back and telling them it’s not done properly It was so crazy to me but he won by not letting the server tell him what to do. He saw this as a win. He always says it’s me being me if you don’t fall in line then get the f** out. He then drinks himself into a mess every night because he really knows he is awful.

  • It's hard to get people to condemn narcissists when the top leadership in government appears to have so many of the traits. It's exactly as you said: narcissism behaviours are 'rewarded'. :S

  • @ 10:21 you said "They don't care about the body count" The Clinton body count includes Jeffrey Epstein and it's real. This must mean democrats who support the clintons are narcissists because they don't care about the clinton body count.

  • Because they pick on people they can. They're the bullies of the playground, but adult, and the other adults are forced to play with them.

  • That's possible only on people who are trying to hard to not get in conflict. If someone tries that on me the answer will be then why you here if you ain't gonna be buying it stop wasting my time and get lost. Narcissists get punished by life with loneliness in the end, people just don't want to be around them when they figure them out.

  • How to differentiate between a narcissist and a hothead? I've read that hotheads also act in an argument like, they focus on the goal and don't care about hurting others. How to spot the difference?

  • Its their fake confidence. Everything they say they say with 1000% confidence & never falter from that, even when its called out. they will just become more aggressive & start personally attacking or start playing the "poor me" card but their fake confidence never falters. they will pick bits & pieces of a conversation (or in my sisters case the bible) that will support them to convince you that you are wrong. That can make other question their own knowledge & understanding, unless they are aware of how this game is played.

  • Highly recommend getting your next car from CARMAX. Everything in the lot is in certified preowned condition. List price is the purchase price, no exception. It makes the employees more like anti-salesmen than the narcs we all know car dealers attract. Great experience with them. Highly recommend.

  • every human born experience both pleasure and suffering…suffering is Gods way of paying us back for sin. last time i checked everyone has sinned once and everyone gets the common cold at least once in their lives. it has to be this way it wouldnt be fair if God were just mercy. He is both mercy and justice. not just mercy and not just justice.

  • I'll go "10 times lower" with them.
    I feel like I have no patience st all.
    I was born to 2 malignant narcissists, taken from them by force and put in foster care, then adopted 4 years later and given back to the System when I was a teenager. Not UN-adopted (that would've cost money) but sent to a children's Home.
    My malignant narcissist parents both went to their graves thinking they'd done absolutely nothing to cause a single thing that had happened.
    I lost patience when I was working on the life squad and saw scenes nobody wants to hear, because it would make them sick.

  • I don't even want to even LOOK like i may be a NARCISSIST!! THANK YOU for THIS narcissist story. Thank you Dr. for this story. I do care about others and don't ever want to make them feel uncomfortable.

  • I was with someone that would ALWAYS tell people he liked their t-shirt amd let then obviously know.."I would love a t shirt Luke that." It was a so embarrassing to me.

  • A good store manager would have just told them to leave, if unwilling to pay the price the item is selling for. If they refused to leave, the good manager would have called the police. I was fortunate enough to work for a couple of strong store managers who didn’t take that type of abuse off of customers.

  • They never care what people think about them and their decisions until they don't get their way and start acting like a victim

  • i host at a restaurant and I've met more then a handful of entitled individuals that never took no for answer and acted just like that guy who wanted the $20 thing. People come in when restaurant is on a wait, host says no, guest goes straight to manager. manager enables the entitled guest and squeezes them in. guest proceeds to pick the table they want to sit in like they own the fking place, even if it has a reserved sign on it. they will throw a fking tantrum and expects you to kick out the person sitting in the table they want to sit in so they could sit there.

  • That's why I hate the service industry. I currently work in it and have had other jobs in the service industry. And my bosses encourage us to pacify narcs and it royally pisses me off.

  • Is this really true narcissism? I’ve witnessed people do something similar when they really want a deal. Maybe it may come off as though they don’t value the item they worked so hard to get for free, but they really do. How do you know the difference between narcissism and a just a simple bargainer?

  • I myself have lived a narcissist life till I got into some real meditation stuff . .it just washed away all the negativity off me and now,I wish everyone had been directed towards religious beliefs well in time and the world would have been an excellent place to live in. . 🙏
    Among the people that surround me,all the people irrelevant with meditation or religious training are narcissist deep within . .

  • DUDE! This speaks to me SO much. I know a guy who behaves exactly like your cheap rich narcissist guy. He would do it with his friends (among which my partner). Always bragging about his money and always trying to save a few euros here and there, by gently forcing people to invite him to places or selling sh** he wanted to get rid of anyway, or, and this is my favorite, coming to our place to visit with only 2 cans of beer, one for him, one for my boyfriend – even though I had cooked for him over and over – and pretending he didn't know I was gonna be there, in my appartment…
    In french we say "there is no small savings" and that is so true! Because he would save cents and had lots of money, and we were always sharing and inviting and always broke.
    Since my man cared about him for some reason, I put up with him, but it created lots of tensions in my relationship, because he was plain rude and my man would let him get away with everything, as you say.
    Until christmas 2018. We hosted it and invited our friends who like us couldn't be with their families. Lots of planning, 2-3 days of cooking, the cleaning afterwards and obviously a lot of money spent -relevant in a minute.
    He was unbearable! The whole night was about him (probably because he was feeling so bad about his life at that moment but couldn't, like a normal person, just share, he had to try and prove to everyone at the party that he was the most awesomest piece of crap on the planet). Anyway he did his usual thing, so no big deal. BUT, right before he left, he came to the kitchen to get the rest of his quiche back, handed me ONE piece, for my boyfriend obviously, and asked for his bottle of champagne back. I was like "are you serious?" and he replied something like " of course my little lady, this is a very good bottle, do you think I buy from crappy stores?" (meaning the champagne you were drinking all night was crappy? is that it f**ker?!?).
    I couldn't say anything, I was completely shocked. I was soooo angry, but I pretended it was okay, since he was leaving anyway and I didn't want any more tension in my relationship because of a cheap a**hole. A faked a smile, said goodbye, closed the door. And that's when my boyfriend fiiiinally told me "okay, I agree with you, he has a serious problem". We had a talk, and the conclusion was that we would never invite him into our home, ever again.
    My man is absolutely not the confronting type, but he will definitely keep his distance if you push it. They never fought or talked about it but he for sure downgraded him. And the cheap guy can feel it. Only since he behaves like a child, instead of talking about it, he's going passive-agressive in every whatsapp group conversation, like "yeah R doesn't show up anymore, he must be with his new friends".
    So that's the story! And I imagine that the 2 staffers at the store probably felt a bit ashamed, or even pissed at themselves, especially the one who "surrendered". I know that's how I felt. You replay the scene in your head and imagine the perfect answer. But I mean, once the narcissist decides to work their magic, especially when you're not prepared and they always have a way of surprising you, there's not much you can do about it…
    Back to the video!

  • My immediate boss at work knew saw right through his mask. I had a target on my back because I was a threat. He couldn’t control me. One day he said something that put me over the top and I stood up to him. I told him no. He got me fired the next day. My ex is a malignant covert narc with psychopathic tendencies. He’s doing fine. Meanwhile I’m still struggling to rebuild. It’s hard not to get demoralized.

  • Their life is a big house of cards. Aside from manipulation, they mostly lie their way in and out of things.
    Harvey Weinstein also always “got away with it” … until he didn’t.
    I don’t envy these people, because their lives are full of serious conflict!

  • Sounds like many customers I've had to deal with in the workplace. They won't stop until they get what they want.They simply don't care what you think of them. Or they don't perceive how hated they are. They will sometimes ask to see the manager 2 seconds into the conversation.

  • LOL…I used to tell my Ex-NYPD NARC Fiancee' "dude don't you ever get tired of arguing? And when she argued with others…I used to warn them. "Go for it…your battery will get drained soon enough, good luck"

  • the most likely reason why the Narc can't show empathy is because his parents did not have the ability to teach empathy. ask me how I know, I was the youngest, I was the scapegoat.

  • I know people like this. I just stop playing their game. Easier said than done. For years I was the enabler and/or target. Mostly, I avoid them as much as I can like the plague. But in instances I can’t I try my best not to engage. I keep quiet and keep my opinions to myself. You can’t play if no one wants to play with you.

  • My experience with a covert narcissist is he/she wouldn't haggle in public but not hesitate to shame the person who would (do the wearing down of negotiating). It's basically projecting, I suppose. He/she would react as though such behavior is so reprehensible… at the same time, it's something that they do in the privacy of their own home every day.

  • It’s interesting you say that because I feel like a lot of times anytime I would try to set limits, my ex-narcissist would literally wore me out till I did what he said.

  • I’d like to hear some stories where a narcissist didn’t succeed in a job/business situation because of their narcissism. A story where their lies, their manipulations, their lack of morals cost them.

  • Because, technically it's not against the law. You have to take other measures.
    Indirect measures. Take very good care of yourself, look your best, and have fun!
    Guaranteed to upset them. Game on!!!
    Never let them know you care about anything. It IS all about the WIN.
    Hmmm, I would have stuck to my guns and not give the jerk what he wanted. He makes a scene, I'd call the manager. If I AM the manager, I'm calling the cops and will press charges and anything else that will stick. And he is 86ed out of my store forever. No redemption is possible.
    If like many low paid workers you must deal with the public, this goes on all the time.
    I'm retired now, but I had a reputation for NOT TAKING ANY CRAP. Still dont take the crap, love that they stay away. Sometimes I get revenge months or years later.
    They curse my name. Because I AM THE TOP DOG IN MY LIFE.
    Come get me, I love the target practice. Oh, and if you pick on someone else in my presence, same thing, and you're still dead meat.

    I'm much more likely to throw gasoline on the fire. I LOVE LOVE LOVE pissing them off. When you can see their veins pop out of their head, you're on the right track.
    And now you're getting old. So am I, at 63, but you look 20 years older! Yes, I'm sure that's messing up your perfect image.
    Sexier than you, kid.😏

  • My very first date with my narc he got our drinks for free because he found a spot on the glass… a normal dishwasher spot of dried water. I was stupid enough to think oh, he stands up for himself. The truth: he didn’t have the money for the date in the first place. Therefore….

  • This is why "the customer is always right" is so wrong. I've worked retail my whole life and I always try to draw a line in the sand and don't reward the behavior. Our culture is what feeds this behavior

  • For years during our relationship, he would sometimes say, "you win." I never understood the game. I never understood what he meant. Of course, I certainly never felt like I won anything. He often made me feel defeated. However, there were times I wouldn't cry or I would have to carry on with the day (in survival mode) and not show that what he said or did got to me (even though it always did.) I realized those are the times he would say, "you win." When it seemed he didn't break me down. I am four years out and only understood it about a year ago. Narc games are not fun, no one really wins unless you get the hell out. Only by the grace of God did he leave and I survived. I was not much more than a shadow of my former self and it's taken time to resurrect and rebuild myself and my life, but I'm grateful to be where I am now. Not perfect but safe and healthy! 🙂

  • Fantastic video! Well, I have finally learned to stay away from my narcissistic brother for good. It's a big loss for him … really. He's not going to win on big things (like my real estate investment help) although he could get a lot of small things being a shameless pusher.

  • My covert narcissist coworker tried to get away with taking my vacation days I wanted off and taking Christmas for a second year in a row in an email she had the balls to email management copying me. I immediately responded calling her out to her and our manager. Got the days off and she backed down 😂. Showed her I wasn’t going to keep my mouth shut. She was in the kitchen thereafter at work and couldn’t even look at me. She knew she was called out. She tried one last sob story why she needed Christmas off again to which I said sorry it’s my turn this year. Oh and acted like she didn’t recall our convo about me taking off the other day to which I told her yea it happened bc I informed management back then what you did 😂.Byeeee lol.

  • I've met some and yes they get away with things, but with me it was always a one off. I'd think, OK you can have this one, because I'll never deal with this person again and I never do. People generally unload the narcs early. To your point I'm an enabler because I don't draw the line and say, NO, you don't get anything from me. If the narc finds 1000 guys like me, he's a big winner. This was very useful, thanks.

  • I have the same thoughts about healthy and non-Narcissistic people actually "enabling" Narcissists. When applied to families, this phenomenon becomes very ugly. The Narcissist in my extended family is enabled by her family members the same way in everything she does. This has become a family norm and if I go against it, the whole family stands up against me just so as not to "disturb" the spoiled Narcissist and not invite her wrath 😔 All these enablers believe that I am the problematic one because I go against her and cause her to throw tantrums. Well, I think they are the problem because they have enabled this "matriarchal" system of dictatorship over the past decades and now so many generations have suffered. Somebody has to stand up to this. I don't want any more of damage done to the present generation.

  • Dr. R. Next time you need a car talk to me. I’m an excellent negotiator. But only for car shopping. I have a great Narc. Story but… don’t want to post it publicly. May all of you have a blessed day. I’d like to see you do a video on the “trophies” narcs collect. Trophies being people.

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